Roto Imbeciles
  
Fantasy Baseball for the Roto Enthusiast
Monday, May 20, 2013: Yes, John Buck sucks again. Buck started the season with 6 HR in the Mets' first 12 games but we all knew that couldn't last. In fact, in his last 14 games, Buck is just 8 for 46 and has only 1 long ball in the merry month of May. But, lest we forget, in 343 AB for the Marlins in 2012, Buck hit .192 with 12 HR and 41 RBI. He's a lifetime .235 hitter in 3254 AB. So WTF was I expecting? Coming into today, another of my $360-NL stalwarts Yuniesky Betancourt was just 3 for his last 38 with 1 RBI and an 8/0 K/BB. And, like I've been saying for almost 58 years now, sometimes it just doesn't pay to get up in the morning!

We've been talking on the site about how some of the teams with bloated payrolls are underachieving in 2013. I gleaned a list of the payrolls in order from the web and worked on my cutting and pasting skills, which really could use the practice. These payrolls are as of Opening Day 2013. You may want to take note that the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez makes more than the entire Houston Astros roster. A-Rod has yet to take the field for the Yankees this year as the club is still desperately trying to excommunicate his salary from the books. They may need more than an eraser for that! Amazing how the Tampa Bay Rays are third from the bottom yet always manage to either be in the post-season tournament or very close.


1 Los Angeles Dodgers 220,395,196
2 New York Yankees 203,445,586
3 Philadelphia Phillies 170,760,689
4 Detroit Tigers 148,414,500
5 Boston Red Sox 140,657,500
6 San Francisco Giants 136,042,112
7 Los Angeles Angels 127,896,250
8 Chicago White Sox 119,573,277
9 Toronto Blue Jays 117,035,100
10 Washington Nationals 114,194,270
11 Texas Rangers 112,939,500
12 Cincinnati Reds 109,401,962
13 Chicago Cubs 107,646,476
14 St. Louis Cardinals 102,790,110
15 Baltimore Orioles 90,993,333
16 Atlanta Braves 89,986,525
17 Arizona Diamondbacks 89,798,667
18 Milwaukee Brewers 88,837,366
19 Pittsburgh Pirates 79,562,000
20 Kansas City Royals 79,491,725
21 Minnesota Twins 75,802,500
22 New York Mets 73,996,639
23 Cleveland Indians 73,724,300
24 Seattle Mariners 73,499,643
25 Colorado Rockies 71,434,071
26 San Diego Padres 66,022,900
27 Oakland Athletics 60,372,500
28 Tampa Bay Rays 57,505,272
29 Miami Marlins 35,720,400
30 Houston Astros 21,133,500

Steve Dalkowski! A guy that legend has, threw 106 MPH. Of course, that was in the days before radar guns. A guy that was so wild, he regularly threw pitches into the stands. He couldn't find home plate with a GPS. And this isn't urban legend. There really was a guy named Steve Dalkowski and this is a cautionary tale of failed promise and dark longing! In Dalkowski's 1st pro season, on August 31, 1957 in the Appalacian League, he K'd 24 batters, walked 18 more, hit 4 batters and threw 6 wild pitches, losing the game, 8-4. The next year, in the Northern League, Dalkowski threw a one-hitter, striking out 15, walking 17, and losing 9-8. In 1960, in the California League, Dalkowski threw a 4-hitter, striking out 19 and losing 8-3! That 1960 season saw Dalkowski go 170 innings, with 105 HA, a 262/262 K/BB and a 5.14/2.16 ERA/WHIP. 262 walks is a minor league record for a season! In an extra-inning game in 1962, he struck out 27, walked 16 and threw 283 pitches. Under the tutelage of his minor league manager, the legendary Earl Weaver, Dalkowski seemed to find his way in 1962, going 160 IP, 117 HA, a 192/114 K/BB and a 3.04/1.44 ERA/WHIP. But, like the rest of his life, there was a sad ending! He was having a good spring training in 1963 and on his way to making the Baltimore Orioles, when he felt "something pop" in his left elbow while pitching vs the New York Yankees. He returned later that summer to the minors but his velocity was never the same. Dalkowski bounced around for a couple of seasons but was out of baseball by the age of 26! He was unable to find any gainful employment because of his raging alcoholism and spent most of his adult life as a migrant field laborer. He currently lives in his home town of New Britain, Connecticut, unable to remember much after the mid-'60's. Dalkowski did put up these numbers: in 236 games (152 GS), he had 38 CG, 995 IP, 682 HA, a 46-80 record, a 1396/1354 K/BB, and a 5.59/2.05 ERA/WHIP. He also allowed 37 HR. Dalkowski would only throw 24 innings at Triple-A over his career and had a 7.13/1.96 there. During his career, Dalkowski was throwing batting practice in Miami when Ted Williams stepped in to see what he could do against the fast-baller. Don't forget, Williams' eyes were so sharp that he could count the stitches on a baseball as it rotated toward the plate. Williams took one pitch saying that he never saw it and that Dalkowski was the fastest pitcher that he had ever seen! Williams also said that he would be damned if he ever faced Dalkowski again if he could help it!

Terrible calls have been part of baseball since as far back as I can remember. And it's only become more exacerbated these past 10 or 15 years due to constant replay and ESPN and the MLB Network. I agree it was a terrible call. I thought (and maybe stupidly) that the whole replay system for HR's was to get the call right. I also agree with you that Angel Hernandez is a lousy ump. I think Torre's explanation that it's a judgement call was a little off. The call by Jim Joyce in the Galarraga "perfecto" was a judgement call but not this. The game should be replayed from the point of the "HR." But it's already been decided that, while the call was wrong, perfection is an impossible feat to achieve 100% of the time. I'd like to end this part of the discussion with: "Tell me about it!" I remember watching my son's Little League game, probably about 12 or 13 years ago. The umpire in the game (there was only one) was so bad that both coaches wanted him removed. I was sitting in the crowd with my wife drinking an Amstel when the coaches said that they would agree to have Mr. Hubschman (that's me) ump the rest of the game. My son's team took one on the chin and after the game one of his teammates (who's now an occasional blogger on this site) tugged on my pants leg and said, "You're a bad ump!" And, you know what, maybe truer words were never spoken.

You know you must suck when the Houston Astros remove you from the rotation. But that's exactly what happened to Phil Humber on Wednesday. Manager Bo Porter could no longer justify sending Humber out there to the slaughterhouse every 5th day. This is the same guy who, on April 21, 2012, pitched the 21st perfect game (vs the Mariners) in MLB history. Every one of the Mariners' starting players should have been sentenced to 10 days of community service after the game! Humber has had one of the worst starts to a season of any pitcher in baseball history. In 7 GS, he's a perfect 0-7 with an 8.82/1.93 ERA/WHIP, 52 HA, and a 16/13 K/BB in 33 2/3 IP. If you don't think that's bad I have a fantasy baseball league that you're welcome to join. Humber has since cleared waivers and has taken all his pictures and video of his perfect game down to the Triple-A affiliate of the Astros.







































 

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If any fantasy baseball league is interested in trade arbitration service please e-mail the site at rotoimb234@rotoimbeciles.com. It's $60 per league for unlimited trades. Last year the site had 6 leagues and are looking to increase that number for the 2013 season. Also, you can e-mail me the specs of your league so the site can familiarize itself with your particular league.




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